Emotion
by Bonzodog
Summary: Emotions are funny things. Collection of one-shots. K/S.
1. Regret

**This is the first time I've written for Star Trek, so I've probably got the writing style very wrong :P All the same, hope you like it.**

"Knock knock." Spock glanced up from his meditation. The captain was standing in the doorframe, grinning lopsidedly.

"Hello, captain." Spock was still not entirely comfortable around Jim. "How can I help you?"

"Um, it's not really help as such." Kirk walked into the room. He shifted around, feeling large and awkward around the smaller Vulcan. "See, I was thinking about the other day..." Jim let his voice trail off.

"That is not unbelivably precise, Captain. There have been many days."

"The one where I said- and you- and I became Captain" The normally charismatic man was lost for words.

"When I became emotionally compromised." Spock supplied.

"Yeah, when I was a bastard so you beat the crap outta me." Jim laughed. "Anyway, I was kinda thinking and I realised I never actually... you know."

"What, Captain?"

"Apologized." Jim finally spat out. Spock smiled wanly.

"Apologies are not needed. You did it only out of need."

"I know, but I still said some shitty stuff. And I wanted you to know that I'm sorry, and I know what I said wasn't true."

Spock's eyes flickered up to meet Jim's for the first time in the conversation.

"You realise this?"

"Yeah, definitely." Jim sat down beside Spock on the foot of his bed. "I know you cared for your mother, Spock."

Spock sighed. Jim blinked at the rare display of emotion. "I did not save her, though. I saved my father, yes. But compare that to the millions of lives that I failed to save..."

"Stop." Jim was shocked by the firmness of his own voice. "You did the best that was do able. You couldn't have done more, Spock."

"It feels like I have nobody left that I care about. You speak of me caring for my father, and yet all I see when I look at him is the people who's lives were lost because of me. There is nobody left for me to care for."

"Stop talking about lives. You killed nobody, Spock." Jim suddenly though of Uhura. "And as for care, there must be somebody left."

There was a moment of silence before the Vulcan spoke.

"I care for you."

Jim blinked again. In a second, years of pushed back feelings had come flowing back.

"Excuse me?"

"You saved my life, the entire ships lives. It is logical to feel respect, and yes, care." Spock said calmly.

"What about Uhura?" Jim could've sworn Spock grimaced. _Was it possible that he didn't- _Jim stopped himself._._

"Uhura was... a mistake. I was alone and she was- well, there. She understands why I won't be with her."

"I care about you too, you know." Jim said softly.

"I am aware of this."

Jim chuckled. "Cocky bastard."

"Most likely so."

"And you do know I'm sorry, right?"

"Most likely so." Jim frowned. God, he hated apologising,

"Um, that's not really the answer I was looking for."

"With all due respect, Captain, I have no reason to believe you to be speaking the truth now, as opposed to before."

Jim grinned. "So, you're basically saying prove it?"

"If you wish to interperet it as that."

Jim laughed. "My friend, you are going to wish you had not said that."

Spock opened his mouth to continue their conversation, but before he could speak, Jim's lips were on his.

He wrapped one arm around the Vulcan's shoulders, and finding no resistance, pulled him tighter. At first Spock just sat, and let Jim kiss him. But after a few seconds, Spock pressed his lips very gently back. He slid an uneasy hand up to cup Jim's head, and let his fingers tangle through his hair. Jim grinned. He normally took the grab-and-kiss method with whoever he wanted to sleep with, but he wasn't sure it would work with the Vulcan. He couldn't deny that that, not apologising, had been his prime intention.

They broke apart, and Spock raised an eyebrow. "And that proves regret?"

"In some perverted way, I hope so."

There was a second, and then Spock spoke, his voice uncertain. "You do remember you cheated my test."

"Yes, I did."

"I think you should show regret for that."

Jim grinned, and leaned forwards. "So do I, Spock. So do I."


	2. Fear

**Awesome response to the first chapter! Anyway, here's the second ficlet. Not very happy with how it turned out, to be honest. Oh, and it's not that slashy- more pre-slash.  
Also, verrrry OC Spock. I'm still trying to figure out how to write him. Just pretend he's drunk or summink :P**

**Also, if you have any ideas or whatever, please suggest them- I need all the help I can get :P  
**

Spock's question came out of nowhere.

"What are you most afraid of, Captain?"

Well, Jim supposed it had come from somewhere. It was one of the rare occasions in which they were staying on Earth. The others had gone off to various different places, with Spock and Jim getting the short straw of a wooden shack up in the mountains.

With not much else to do, they had been sitting around drinking and talking. And flirting, of course. And they had, after all, been discussing fear. And Jim had just made the joke that Lieutenant Uhura was most afraid of running out of male admirers. So he supposed that the question made sense.

But it was surprising all the same.

"It's Jim. And I, Spock, am afraid of nothing." He replied breezily.

"That is impossible. Every person has a fear of something, rational or otherwise."

"Then I am the exception to that rule."

"The rule has very few exceptions, and you are not one of them."

"I take it you consider yourself an exception?" But Spock shook his head. Jim leant forwards, interested.

"I fear many things. Mostly of death. I fear my father's death, my own death, the crews' deaths. Even yours, Captain."

"It's Jim. And, er, thanks."

There was a pause. After such an unusually emotional statement from Spock, Jim felt he should probably join in.

"Fine! I am probably afraid of something."

"Probably?"

"Possibly."

"What is this fear?"

"I don't think I'm going to tell you." Jim smiled cockily, and Spock raised an eyebrow.

"And why not?"

"Because I don't want to." This was the truth; Jim did not want more people than necessary to know."

"That is an unsatisfactory argument."

Jim responded by taking another swig of his drink. Spock frowned.

"You should not drink alcoholic beverages to that level. It lowers concentration and affects the liver-"

"Spock, I wouldn't care if my liver burst out through my chest, danced a jig and jumped off this damned planet." A small smirk played at Spock's lips.

"I believe you would be slightly more affected if those events were to play out in reality."

"Meh, vital organs are overrated." Glad for the change in conversation, Jim drained his glass, and stood up. "Right, I'm going to bed."

"Goodnight, Cap- Jim." Under Jim's stern look, the man had adjusted his statement.

"Good man." Spock had just settled down for a few minutes of thinking, when he heard a scream from the room his Captain had just entered. A few seconds later, the door slammed open and Jim sprinted out.

"Jim?" Spock asked, alarmed. "What is wrong?"

Jim seemed to realise where he was, and looked up Spock with a strange look on his face. "Erm, it's nothing, really…" he trailed off, and Spock stepped past him to see what was in the room.

Jim turned an interesting shade of red as Spock came out, clutching in his long fingered hands the source of Jim's fear. He left the shack, and came back a few moments later.

"Really, Jim?" Spock half laughed as he came back in.

"Shut up, you." Jim mumbled.

"Yes, but a spider cannot-"

"I am fully aware of what spiders can and cannot do!" Jim snapped.

"But why-"

"Goodnight, Pointy-Eared Green Bastard." Jim stalked back towards his room. As he closed the door, Spock called one last thing out.

"Just be careful that there are not more under your bed!"

There was a pause before the door clicked hesitantly shut, and an uncertain voice murmured a final word.

"Bastard."


End file.
